Kennedy trapped in the body of an old disabled dude in Bubba Ho-Tep. I’ve even seen Bruce Campbell playing the actual Elvis, pretending to be an Elvis impersonator, trying to track down a killer mummy in an old people’s home with some guy who thinks he’s John F. I’ve seen Steve Oedekerk with a tiny face on his tongue having a kung-fu ruckus with a dude named Betty in Kung Pow: ‘Enter the Fist’. I’ve seen a zombie grandma swell to the size of a house and swallow her fully grown son back into her womb in Brain Dead. Now I’ve seen some dumb movies in my time, in fact they could even be described as a specialty of mine. With ingredients like this, I couldn’t see how this movie stood a snow-balls chance in hell (get it? hell?) of not being utterly incredible. He’s also got a gun called THE GOD KILLER but I don’t want to ruin all the surprises for you. To complicate matters he’s also got the gatekeeper from hell coming after him to try and take him back, and somehow he’s picked up an absolute babe called ‘Piper’ (Amber Heard) and her pimped out ride from somewhere along the way who will inevitably help/hinder/suprisingly not fall in love with him. So anyway he’s up on earth, he’s apparently immortal (because obviously you can’t kill someone that’s already dead) and he’s “Not stopping until I’m drinking beer out of that preacher’s skull” (you will not believe how that particular plot line gets taken care of). Unfortunately we don’t actually see any of the busting out of hell business (I’m guessing the CGI budget didn’t stretch to it) but I’ll take St.
#DRIVE ANGRY MOVIE THE GODKILLER FULL#
Quicker than you can say ‘Snake Eyes’ he’d busted out of the big fiery slammer and was back up on earth, looking for the weird preacher guy who’d killed his daughter and, incidentally, snatched his grand daughter so he could sacrifice her under a full moon and open the gates of hell (seriously, I promise you, I’m not making any of this up). But they’d obviously never got on the wrong side of Nicholas Cage before. The plot isn’t really a whole lot more complicated than I first described it… Nicholas Cage was hangin’ out down in hell, and as some new kind of torment those pesky demon guys figured they would show him his own daughter being killed up on planet earth to really piss him off because he couldn’t do anything about it…. If DRIVE ANGRY 3D sounds dumb on paper, it’s a whole lot dumber on the big screen.
Cage quiet and wait for him to prove them wrong…. But heck, it’s a fickle business I guess and I’ve heard the remake of The Wicker Man really sucked a whole lot of ass, so I had to keep my objections to their point of view regarding Mr.
I didn’t know the guys that well, so it took every ounce of self control I had not to just shout out “Were you not alive in the 90s? Do you not remember Nicholas Cage pumping out blockbusters faster than Charlie Sheen hoovers up lines of coke in the morning? Have you not seen The Rock? Have you not seen Con Air? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN FACE-OFF?” It just failed to register as a possibility in my mind that the guy who not only redefined the word ‘Badass’ in his portrayal of Castor Troy, but also managed to play the same character WITH TWO DIFFERENT FACES IN THE SAME MOVIE could ever be anything less than the most sought after actor in Hollywood. However, when I told people I was going to see it, and indeed when I met up with the dudes I was going to see it with everyone was like “do you even think there’ll be anyone there? I can’t imagine Nicholas Cage has got much pull these days”, and to my utter dismay I found out that apparently the big guy hasn’t got much of a reputation in the movie business anymore (half the guys I went to see it with were some kind of serious film reviewer whereas I, as you will probably realise when reading the rest of this review, am certainly not).
#DRIVE ANGRY MOVIE THE GODKILLER FREE#
When a friend of mine offered me a free ticket to the preview of DRIVE ANGRY 3D, I was immediately pumped, mostly because I’d already seen the trailer and thought to myself “any movie that stars Nicholas Cage as a dead guy who’s ESCAPED FROM HELL to avenge someone or others death literally cannot fail to be a corker” (well, apart from maybe Ghostrider that is).
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